giving up

I give up. I give up on trying to be happy and bubbly and giggly all the time. I am trying my hardest and my best and its not good enough. I apply for so many jobs. I go to every interview. I AM DOING EVERYTHING THAT I CAN! And it's just not good enough. Its not. Its not good enough for anyone. Why can't one person be like, I am so proud of you for trying so hard? Why must everyone just tell me how much I am doing wrong. Why  do all my friends.family ditch me cause I am not myself? Why is it that I have to be "good enough" for you to want to be friends with me? Why do I always have to make all the right decisions? I am sick of it. Guess what. I am not perfect. I am not happy all the time. Somtimes my smile is fake. Sometimes I have to try hard to laugh. But I try. I swear. I am trying my hardest to be the best person that I can be. And you still don't want to be my friend, if you still don't think I am good enough... Go Fuck yourself. I don't need you in my life.