I'm About To Break...

Seriously?

When are things going to get better for me? I am sick of feeling like I am not good enough. Not good enough to keep the best boy I have ever met let only dated. Not good enough to keep a job. Not good enough to get a job. Not good enough to make friends. Not good enough for anything. This isn't a woe is me post. This is a I HATE MY SELF post. Cause I have ruined everything. I have lost everything that I have ever wanted. I had a good job, I had a wonderful boyfriend and a best friend. And now it just feels lie I am losing every thing.
And I am trying to change. I really am working on it. But getting told no. Being told that I am not good enough all the time is seriously making it super difficult. Being told that I didn't get a job cause someone better interviewed for it. Being told that he doesn't want to be in a relationship with me cause I don't do enough with my life. Being told that I hurt a friend's feelings on accident just cause I thought I was doing the responsible right thing.

I just want something to go right in my life, I want my life to go back to being that happy girl that it was always smiling all the time. And wasn't crying everyday. And had friends. And a wonderful boyfriend. And a good job.

I had it all and I ruined it. And now I am miserable and its all my fault.
And I won't ever had the chance to fix it all. I have lost.
Right now what sucks the most is that I don't have anyone to talk to about it.
I don't have anyone that wants to give me a hug and tell me its going to be ok.
I had the person... and now he barely wants to talk to me.
Cause I took it all for granted.

And now its all gone...
like yesterday is gone...
and like today will be gone...
its all gone...