Dear Readers,
   This post is going to be a turning point if there ever was one. I knew that I had already had my "Harajuku Moment" (which if I haven't defined in my blogposts then you should check out my post about it here http://thingist.com/t/item/2030/ And while you are at it, open up a thingist account. It's a super fun way to social network) but I haven't had anything like this.

Ok, so I had a job interview today (today being the 11th.. the writing was a little delayed tonight) at the Sprint in Valley West Mall. The weather was awful as awful can be. But I need a job so super bad that I decided to go ahead and just leave an hour and some change more early as opposed to the 30 min I would have if the weather was good. So I am driving cautiously along the interstate... going about 45 as was about everyone else on interstate. Some people with 4 wheel drive were driving faster than that. As is expected however. Anyways. I am about 3/4 the way to the mall when the car in front of me stops. So I try to stop. My tires are still, but I am sliding. Bad. So I let go of my brake. Then I start to fishtail which turns into my car spinning, I was in the middle lane but by the time I was done spinning my car ended up in the left emergency lane looking at the median. I took a deep breath and thanked God for protecting me. Then I looked to my left. And I saw this all happening in slow motion. I saw that the car behind me had managed to slow down. But the car behind  it was a giant GMC SUV, who had the exact problem that I did. He fishtailed and spun out... spinning RIGHT AT ME. I was terrified. There was nothing that I could do. I just sat there at watched this giant SUV head straight for my tiny Neon. And my life flashed before my eyes... and in those few seconds I realized these things:

1) I have not been LIVING my life. I have been settling. Just scooching by. Doing enough to live day to day. But not really trying to LIVE and make my life better.

2) That I have been taking a lot for granted. I have family near me that are there to support me. Even if it is just a phone call or a prayer. And I just take it all for granted. I expect them to be there. I don't ever go there to just hang out. I am always hoping for a free meal or something. I never call anyone just to see how they are doing. I always call cause I need help or I need a prayer. Or need someone to talk to.

3) I love my Geek. That was the biggest thing that flashed before my eyes. So many of our good times. Things that I wished that I had said. Things I wish I had done before. And all the sudden I realized that it might literally be too late to do any of those things. If I died right then and there then I could never apologize for not saying thank you to him enough just for being him, for not respecting his geekiness enough. And I wish I could tell him how much I care about him. Not just as a wonderful boyfriend. But as a best friend. He has taught me so much. Or at least he tried. I didn't always LISTEN as much as I should have. I stored everything into my mind but I didn't always put it into my "This is useful information you should apply to your life" box. Until I realized that I needed that information after I already needed it.

4) I don't love myself enough. Not in a vain way. In a "I need to actually like who I am. I need to be a person taht I am proud of". How can I expect Geek or anyone else to love me if I can't stand who I am? And if I don't like who I am then I need to not just sit around eating a tub of ice cream and complain about it. I need to DO SOMETHING about it. Someone once told me something along the lines of If you have enough time to bitch about something, you are not spending enough time fixing it. And it's true. I hate that I can't save money. But I don't do anything about it at all. It fails so much. I hate it.

Yes all these crossed my mind in the few seconds as this giant SUV was headed at me. By some serious miracle, the car stopped about a few feet from me. I swore that I could roll down my window and reach out and touch his car. Instead I sat there and took a few deep breathes and thanked my Heavenly Father. I also sat there and made a vow that I would take these "visions" as a blessing. A gift in disguise.

I made it to my interview. And I think that I did alright. It was hard to tell however. I should be able to know by the end of the week if I got the job. Of course I can't stop looking for jobs. And good gracious, I need to keep this job.

Anyways. Those are my crazy thoughts.
I hope that its not too late to turn my life around. I hope that I haven't lost Geek. I hope that there is some way to show my family and friends how thankful I am for them.
Cause changes are already happening. And they are going to continue to happen
Nothing like a near death experience to realize that you need to better your life.