From The Inside Out...

I am sorry my dear readers. However few they maybe. Today has been so crazy busy. Today being Saturday still in my mind. Anyways, in a random turn of events I decided to go to the Saturday night church that I used to go to all the time. About 3 and a half years ago... I attended this church regularly. Like I went to the Saturday night church, I went to the Sunday morning church, I helped out when they were building the new part of the church, I helped clean up after service sometimes, I volunteered for VBS that year, I was hardcore. BUT. At the same time... I was a little party animal. I went out and drank. And someone told me that I wasn't a Christian and if I died that night I was going to hell. Well. I did not take kindly to those words and I left the church. I went crazy. Got in a lot of trouble. Then I came back to that church. As an outsider looking into the church, I saw a lot of things I did not notice my first time around. I felt left out... But I knew some of these people. I had hung out with them at least twice a week for over a year. But I just felt like I was missing out on something. Then stuff happened and I stopped going again. I would randomly stop by every 6 months or so. Everytime the church got bigger. Everytime it felt like less and less people would say hi to me. But the PRAISE BAND! UGH! So amazing. By far my favorite ever. And the few people that do say hi to me, are they people I knew 3 years ago..... Anyways. So Geek and I went to a few services. He enjoyed it. I think that he enjoyed the hangout after more. He enjoyed sitting around and talking with them. Discussions. But as soon as they found out that he and I were actually "dating" then they stopped talking to us. Or that is what it felt like to me.

See. There are a few... well... issues... I feel like this church has. And I don't mean this in a judgemental  "I can't believe you are not a perfect church" kind of way. Just some observations/opinions if you will. Anyways. One of them... Is that it feels like if you don't do things their way, you are not a Christian... Let alone a member of this church. Also. It feels like this church is very inclusive. If you are not a very active, involved attender of this church... well then you are not really welcome at this church. I also feel that this church has a lot of cliques. Everyone says hi to everyone... and when it comes down to nitty gritty... anyone in that church would pray for you... but if you need someone to talk to, well you better stay within your clique of people. Wait? You don't have a clique? Good luck fitting in.... Not to mention I don't always agree with what is preached.

Ok, that being said. There is a lot of nice things that I like about this church. As previously stated, their praise band is amazing. I feel most like I am worshiping God, and I feel him around me most when I am praising him at this church. There are some really good people at this church. I also really enjoy that most the people that go to this church are my aged. They always have good snacks :P They are a very active church. They have a lot going on, and I really enjoy that. They are big on prayer. I love a church that prays a bunch.

Honestly, I don't know why I keep going back to that church... But I feel like for some reason I just can't stay away for more than 6 months. After that I just start feeling run down. It's like a weird need. I don't know. I plan on going to my Aunt's church to try that out. Maybe I will love it there. Maybe all I really need is a church that I go to more than once ever 6 months...

Cause I am a Christian. I love my Jesus, and I could never begin to thank Him for what He did for me. I love God. I would not be alive if it were not for God. I would not be as safe if not for Him. He has ALWAYS been there for me. He has never abandoned me. He has helped me out in so many ways that sometimes I feel like I don't even notice. SO! I am definitely a Christian in love with my Creator. Even if I don't act it all the time. Maybe I just need MORE Jesus in my life.

Just some thoughts. And stuff. I don't know. It's been a long day.

Night ya'll